wild woolly waterboys logo Waterboyz Whopped in Season Opener
Despite a 38-point comeback Monday night to tie the game at 84, the Wild Woolly Waterboyz lost their first game of the new season due to a regular-season tie-breaker scheme that had new head coach Willie “Mam” Mothe steaming between the toes. QB Brad Johnson, WR Keyshawn Johnson, and K Sebastian Janikowski combined for an incredible 38 points during Monday night’s game but the Waterboyz’ 84 points somehow weren’t equivalent to Mo Biggsley’s Bolts’ tally of the same score. According to league rules, the win goes to the team with the most total yards compiled by the starting QB, RBs and WRs.

An exasperated coach Mothe asked, “How can one team’s 84 points be worth more than the other team’s 84 points?” After the decision, coach Mothe filed a formal statement expressing his dissatisfaction with the arbitrary tie-breaking algorithm. League commissioners promised to poll the other teams to determine if changes to the current system are desirable.

Bolts coach Mrs. Beasley couldn’t be reached for comment but was reportedly to have been overheard to say, “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.”

The Waterboyz front office issued a statement of support for coach Mothe. “As far as we’re concerned,” the statement said, “we’re still undefeated.”
Regardless of their optimism, the Waterboyz slipped to 0-1.

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